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Yoga Bitch. In search of perfection and milkshakes

Katerina Ovchinnikova

The story of Suzanne Morrison's autobiographical novel is simple.

The main character meets yoga teacher Indra and falls in love with her. For Suzanne Indra is inaccessible ideal of a dream woman. In fact, at first Indra has everything: thick silky hair, large eyes, flexible spine, ethnic trinkets and yogi lover.

Suzanne sets off for teachers's course following her beloved Indra. It is interesting that to save money for this trip the character denys herself everything even unsuccessfully cheats manager in yoga-studio and trying not to pay for classes.

Suzanne flys to Bali hoping not only to get her own yoga teacher’s certificate, but to change herself. Spoiler alert, I can tell you this, she will get neither the former nor the latter. But Suzanne will experience the kundalini rising (roll eyes), highflight of her yogic experience.

Evidently to imitate living in a real ashram students are asked refuse sex, smoking, alcohol, coffee and sugar. The last vow is beyond Suzanne’s strength, because forbidden brounys and milkshakes are the best way to lift your spirit and to feel excitement of the freshman student, who ditches a class for the very first time.

The teachers training, described in detail, is rather confusion. Not only students' level is weak, but teachers' qualification is also doubtful. The climix of this yogic circus is claim of one american teacher that every student should invent their own trend of yoga and patent it. Otherwise they will not be able earn money, and they should thinking about it now, even though their training hasn't been complited.

In my opinion the most interesting part of the book devoted to transformation Suzanne’s relationship with Indra. At the beginning Suzanne adores Indra, idolizes her, wants to be like Indra, but as soon as Suzanne knows Indra closer she starts to get disappointed in her. Disappointment becomes hatred then Suzanne find out that Indra far from holy and has been married 6 times. But after some time Suzanne understands that it was she who put Indra up on a pedestal and then threw her down with disgrace. Yoga teachers are not different from their students: everyone has their own weaknesses.

Even the editor-in-chief of Yoga Journal Russia compliments on Suzanne Morisonne’s sense of humor. But I haven’t found anything really funny in this book: jokes are flat, sometimes vulgar and absolutely primitive. It’s a kind of modern American humour on physiology with claim to sarcasm and originality. According this book as far as I understand the most original thihg is urine therapy which appears plenty of times thoughout the book.

If don't want to waste your time I wouldn't recommend reading this book. You'd better go and have some practice.

Moscow Yoga Lover